Self Esteem
The Single Best Way to Build Real Self-Esteem that Lasts
Forever - By Glenn Shepard
Our nation became obsessed with self-esteem in the 1990s. Teachers in several school
systems were told to discontinue using red ink when correcting students’ homework
because it “hurt their self esteem”. Kids received trophies even if they came in last place, so
that no one would feel left out. The problem now is that this trophy generation is entering
adulthood and isn’t prepared for the dog-eat-dog world that doesn’t care about their feelings.
They’re having a very hard time adapting to an environment where they aren’t praised just
for showing up. True self-esteem cannot be given; it must be earned. It feels good to receive
attention from a member of the opposite sex; praise from an authority figure such as a boss,
parent, or teacher; or compliments from a colleague or friend, but this feeling is temporary
because it only lasts as long as that person is there to give it. We usually end up feeling
hungry for more when he or she isn’t around. This can create an unhealthy and ultimately
destructive habit of relying on other people for validation of ourselves, which makes us
weak, needy, and dependent, and leaves us with no self-esteem whatsoever.
So how does one earn self-esteem? A radio talk show host recently gave the best answer
I’ve ever heard – “Impress yourself!” Our character, compassion, conscience, courage, or
accomplishments are ways we build true self-esteem. We must work to earn it. Think about
the people in your life with the highest and lowest self-esteem. Those who perpetually have
the lowest will be the ones who have done the least to earn it and are the most miserable.
Those with the highest will always be the ones who worked at it and will be the happiest. If
you don’t know people at both extremes, just look at who’s in the news. Paris Hilton and
Anna Nicole Smith have fame, fortune, and beauty, but lack self-esteem because they’ve
done nothing to earn it. At the opposite extreme, Mother Theresa was the humblest person
in the world, but she had high self-esteem. The same is true of the brave men and women
who unselfishly put their lives in jeopardy to serve our country in the military or protect our
communities by working in law enforcement. A dear friend of mine in Texas recently told me
about how he is helping the victims of hurricanes Katrina and Rita. It comes as no surprise
that Kent not only has high-self esteem now, but also had it when he lost his job a few years
ago and to make some major career decisions.
Self-esteem comes only when you’re truly proud of who and what you are. In order to build
your self-esteem, name three ways you impress yourself. Be honest because you are the
one person you can’t lie to. You might fool others but you can never fool your own
conscience. If you can honestly name three ways you impress yourself, you’ll have high selfesteem
no matter what others say or think about you. If you can’t, make this the day that you
start working on becoming the person you were meant to be.
Glenn Shepard is a management consultant

Thoughts of Richard Bach

• Nothing happens by chance, my friend... No such thing as luck. A meaning behind every little thing, and such a meaning behind this. Part for you, part for me, may not see it all real clear right now, but we will, before long.
  • Nothing by Chance: A Gypsy Pilot's Adventures in Modern America (1969)

• For most gulls, it is not flying that matters, but eating. For this gull, though, it was not eating that mattered, but flight.
  • Jonathan Livingston Seagull (1970)

• The gulls who scorn perfection for the sake of travel go nowhere, slowly. Those who put aside travel for the sake of perfection go anywhere, instantly.
  • Jonathan Livingston Seagull (1970)

• A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit.
  • A Gift of Wings (1975)

• You have no birthday because you have always lived; you were never born, and never will die. You are not the child of the people you call mother and father, but their fellow-adventurer on a bright journey to understand the things that are.
  • There's No Such Place As Far Away (1978)

• Fly free and happy beyond birthdays and across forever, and we'll meet now and then when we wish, in the midst of the one celebration that never can end.
  • There's No Such Place As Far Away (1978)

• If it's never our fault, we can't take responsibility for it. If we can't take responsibility for it, we'll always be its victim.
  • Running from Safety: An Adventure of the Spirit (1994)

Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah (1977)

• We're all the sons of God, or children of the Is, or ideas of the Mind, or however else you want to say it.

• You are led through your lifetime by the inner learning creature, the playful spiritual being that is your real self.
  Don't turn away from possible futures before you're certain you don't have anything to learn from them.

• Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours.

• "There is no problem so big that it cannot be run away from."...
  "You're quoting Snoopy the dog, I believe?"
  "I'll quote the truth wherever I find it thank you."

• Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but the mark of a false messiah.

• The simplest questions are the most profound.
  Where were you born?
  Where is your home?
  Where are you going?
  What are you doing?
  Think about these once in awhile, and watch your answers change.

• You are never given a wish without being given the power to make it true.
  You may have to work for it, however.

• Every person, all the events of your life, are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

• Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.

• A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed, it feels an impulsion... this is the place to go now.
  But the sky knows the reason and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.

• "Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends."

[edit]

The Bridge Across Forever (1984)

• That's what learning is, after all; not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we've changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, is winning.

• We're the bridge across forever, arching above the sea, adventuring for our pleasure, living mysteries for the fun of it, choosing disasters triumphs challenges impossible odds, testing ourselves over and again, learning love and love and LOVE!

Messiah's Handbook: Reminders for the Advanced Soul - The Lost Book from Illusions (2004)

Most of the statements in this book come from the earlier book Illusions (1977)

• Perspective— Use It or Lose It. If you turned to this page, you're forgetting that what is going on around you is not reality. Think about that.

• Remember where you came from, where you're going, and why you created the mess you got yourself into in the first place.

• Learning is finding out what you already know. Doing is demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that they know just as well as you. You are all learners, doers, and teachers.

• The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.

• There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.

• Imagine the universe beautiful and just and perfect.
  Then be sure of one thing:
  The Is has imagined it quite a bit better than you have.
  The original sin is to limit the Is. —Don't.

• If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats.

• In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice.

• The best way to avoid responsibility is to say, "I've got responsibilities."

• Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't.
  • Variant: Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't.

• Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.

• The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.

• You're going to die a horrible death, remember. It's all good training, and you'll enjoy it more if you keep the facts in mind.
  Take your dying with some seriousness, however. Laughing on the way to your execution it not generally understood by less advanced lifeforms, and they'll call you crazy.

• Everything above may be wrong!

An idea is never given to you without you being given the power to make it reality. You must, nevertheless, suffer for it.

• Ask yourself the secret of your success. Listen to your answer, and practice it.

• Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?

• Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.

• Evolution made civilization steward of this planet. A hundred thousand years later, the steward stood before evolution not helper but destroyer, not healer but parasite. So evolution withdrew its gift, passed civilization by, rescued the planet from intelligence and handed it to Love.

• Happiness is the reward we get for living to the highest right we know.

• I don't want to do business with those who don't make a profit, because they can't give the best service.

• I gave my life to become the person I am right now. Was it worth it?

• If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.

• If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

• In order to win, you must expect to win.

• In the United States Christmas has become the rape of an idea.

• It is by not always thinking of yourself, if you can manage it, that you might somehow be happy. Until you make room in your life for someone as important to you as yourself, you will always be searching and lost.
• Jonathan is that brilliant little fire that burns within us all, that lives only for those moments when we reach perfection.

• Listen to what you know instead of what you fear.

• Live never to be ashamed if anything you say or do is published around the world, even if what is said is not true.

• Not being known doesn't stop the truth from being true.

• Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.

• Strong beliefs win strong men, and then make them stronger.

• The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it.

• The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

• There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go.

• There's no disaster that can't become a blessing, and no blessing that can't become a disaster.

• We wait all these years to find someone who understands us, I thought, someone who accepts us as we are, someone with a wizard's power to melt stone to sunlight, who can bring us happiness in spite of trials, who can face our dragons in the night, who can transform us into the soul we choose to be. Just yesterday I found that magical Someone is the face we see in the mirror: It's us and our homemade masks.

• You don't want a million answers as much as you want a few forever questions. The questions are diamonds you hold in the light. Study a lifetime and you see different colors from the same jewel.

• You teach best what you most need to learn.

Thoughts of Chanakya

• A good wife is one who serves her husband in the morning like a mother does, loves him in the day like a sister does and pleases him like a prostitute in the night.
• An egoist can be won over by being respected, a crazy person can be won over by allowing him to behave in an insane manner and a wise person can be won over by truth.
• A human being should strive for four things in life - dharma, arth (money), kaam (desires) and moksha (salvation). A person who hasn't strived for even one of these things has wasted life.
• A man is great by deeds, not by birth.
• A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first.
• A rich man has many friends.
• As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it.
• A woman is four times as shy, six times as brave and eight times as libidinous as a man.
• Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.
• Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person.
• Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth.
• Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous.
• If you get to learn something even from the worst of creatures, don't hesistate.
• In a state where the ruler lives like a common man, the citizens live like kings do. And in the state where the ruler lives like a king, the citizens live like beggers do.
• Jealousy is another name for failure.
• Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness.
• Once you start working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest.
• One who is in search of knowledge should give up the search of pleasure and the one who is in search of pleasure should give up the search of knowledge.
• The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you.
• There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth.
• The four greatest enemies of a man are - the father who has taken a loan, the characterless mother, the beautiful but promiscuous wife and the stupid child.
• The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction.
• The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman.
• Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends.
• Whores don't live in company of poor men, citizens never support a weak administration and birds don't build nests on a tree that doesn't bear fruits.